Battle of Antietam, The by Kmom

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The Battle of Antietam by Kmom

The Battle of Antietam By Kmom ([email protected])
Rating: R
Classification: MSR, a little H
Spoilers: Tiny one for “Dreamland II” Disclaimer: Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox own ‘em. I merely love ‘em.
Archive: If you wish. Just keep my headers and let me know where it’s going.

Summary: Scully invites Mulder to a 4th of July family picnic. After everything that could possibly go wrong does, there are fireworks. (This is for an MSR Preservation Society challenge. Notes on the challenge elements at the end.)

Thanks: To The Handsome and Indulgent Husband, who proofread this and woke me up at 1am to goad me about how naughty he thought it was. (Hey, sue me, we’re pretty conservative in our reading material.) To whoever put the challenge together – you got me thinking and writing in a very different way! Thanks to everyone who’s still writing X-Files fan fic. PETA note: No raccoons were harmed in the writing of this fic.

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

Georgetown, Scully’s Apartment, Thursday, July 3rd

The sun was setting on a hot, steamy D.C. July 3rd and Scully was folding her laundry when she heard the door open. She already knew who it was, and anticipation for his return had been building all day. Mulder had managed to get on Kersh’s bad side once again and had been banished to an F.B.I. “continuing education course” in Phoenix, Arizona for two weeks. More like reeducation, she thought, and smiled when she thought about the upcoming long 4th of July weekend where they could get reacquainted. But only after he did just one little favor for her.

Mulder already had his suit coat and tie off as he swept into the bedroom and tossed his belongings toward the vicinity of the chair. They didn’t quite make it and, as usual, he didn’t care. Scully knew better than to scold him. Messy was a part of Mulder she had grown to accept and almost cherish. Almost. She smiled and managed to get out a breathy, “Hey…” before he scooped her up in his arms and began to kiss her socks off.

When they finally needed oxygen he broke the kiss. “Arizona is dry and boring,” he sighed as he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers.

Scully smiled. “D.C.‘s been pretty humid, even for July,” she almost whispered before she looked up at him. “So you’re gone two weeks and all we can find to talk about is the weather?”

“That was just the preview verbal foreplay, Scully. I’ll be getting to the main feature soon enough.” He kissed her again, this time seeking to divest her of her clothes. Scully leaned back and touched her index finger to his lips. “First, I have a little favor to ask you,” she said in what she hoped was her most sensual voice.

Mulder’s grin immediately spread from ear to ear. “It’s definitely ESP, Scully. I’ll start the bath water and you get the snorkel.”

She had to laugh at that one. He’d been preoccupied with water lately. Going on and on about bathing with her, swimming with her, talking about a beach vacation where they could lay in the surf and make out. They <had> to stop watching “From Here to Eternity” so much. “No, this is family related,” she purred, hoping to put a good spin on something she knew would irk him.

Mulder drew back a bit, but kept his grip on her waist. “Hold on. I’m making a connection here. Tomorrow is the 4th of July. You just said the word ‘family,’ meaning, I take it, your family. Although I have no personal experience to back this up, families tend to gather on holidays.” His eyes narrowed. “What has our Maggie cooked up?”

“Bill won’t be there.” The words fairly shot out of her mouth. “Just Charlie and his fiancée, Deb. And my college roommate, Angela and her family. She calls Mom more than I do.” Scully snuggled back to him, ran her hands up his neck and to the back of his head and pulled him down as her voice again took a sultry turn. “It’s just a little picnic near the Antietam Battlefield tomorrow. We can leave early and be there by 11 or so. Mom is already there. She said the campground is lovely… and has a great pool.”

He frowned. “Not that we could put it to any good use. Scully, I know you haven’t seen Charlie in ages and haven’t met his girlfriend, but you have to know how much I want it to be… just us this weekend.”

“Mulder, it’s not like it’ll be the entire weekend…

“It’ll take the entire first day out of a short three day weekend. And I haven’t seen you for two weeks.” Now he was getting whiny.

It was time for pleading. And promises.

Scully lowered her voice to the one she used to tease him over the phone when there was someone with him in the office. “Fox William Mulder, my mother and baby brother like you, so that’s a non-issue. I promise you that when we get back from this picnic I will not only spend all day Sunday doing whatever you want… I will give you your very own copy of “Caddyshack.”

His eyebrows went up. “The DVD?”

“Of course.”

“With all the extra footage and the commentary by Bill Murray?”

“With pleasure.”

A ghost of a smile appeared on his face. “Well, since you mentioned pleasure…”

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

Friday, July 4th, Maryland State Route 34, near Sharpsburg, MD

“Believe me, Scully, there is no other way to get to this campground.” Mulder sat with the car in park, his eyes burnt from the glaring hood. What a day to forget his sunglasses.

Scully pulled out yet another map and held it alongside her TripTik. “I can’t believe they didn’t mark this on the road. They always mark construction.”

“Your AAA agent must have been daydreaming when she drew up your TripTik. And besides, it looks like the construction consists mostly of moving a house off the right-of-way.” Sure enough, a huge flatbed trailer crept into view ahead. On it was what appeared to be an old structure, perhaps historic in nature. It was also evident that a huge number of trees had been recently felled, all to make way for a wider road. “They paved paradise and put up a parking lot, Scully. I’d forgotten how much I miss trees.” He looked at her apologetically. “It looks like we’re going to be late. I’m sorry.”

She sighed. “That’s OK. We had no idea and neither did Mom. I just wish she had a cell phone.” Scully’s eyes suddenly brightened. “But I think I have Angela’s number. She gave it to me ages ago.” After searching through her purse for a bit, she found her address book and quickly began to dial. “Angie? Dana… look, we’re going to be late… oh, you’re stuck in it, too?” Scully let out a light laugh, one that made the hair on the back of Mulder’s neck stand up. Why did they have to be in a car, stuck in construction traffic, the hot Virginia sun beating down on them with her… giggling like that? And dressed like that. What was she wearing, anyway? Was that, good grief, a mini skirt? Mulder’s tongue started to tingle and he squeezed his eyes shut. What was the good of finally being “a couple,” albeit a secretive one, if you couldn’t come back from a business trip and just get your freak on for a few days straight? Oops, better start paying attention, Mulder old boy, he thought, sounds like the conversation’s winding up.

“OK, so we’ll get there when we get there. Can’t wait to see you, too, bye.” Scully put the antenna on her phone down. “Well, they’re in this line of cars, too, and she has Charlie’s cell number. She’ll call them.” Scully loosened her seat belt and shifted her left knee up onto the seat. “So, you want to tell me about your continuing education or play twenty questions?”

A small smile graced Mulder’s lips. “I opt for the questions and I have the first one. What is that you’re wearing?”

A Scully eyebrow shot up. “We’re not on the phone, Mulder. You have eyes.”

“As a matter of fact, I do, and a few seconds ago they were hanging out of my head when I saw you have a mini skirt on.”

Scully looked down at her lap. “It’s not a mini skirt. It’s a skort.”

“A what??”

“Skort. A skirt with shorts attached. See?” She lifted the flap in the front and exposed the matching short-shorts underneath. A Scully eyebrow shot up as she said, “Betcha didn’t get flashed like that in Arizona.”

Mulder shifted his legs and reached over to touch the material himself. “No, I did not. And it’s all sewn together? Oh, I see. Hey, the field hockey players at our sister prep school wore these. But they weren’t this short. My, my, Dr. Scully, what great gams you have.”

Scully gave him a wicked smile. “All the better to entice you with. Here’s my question: why do you still have your seat belt on?”

“Because my windows aren’t tinted and there are cars right up on both of our bumpers. I don’t know if our fellow holiday travelers need a eyeful of us making out.”

“That’s too bad, because I do,” Scully sighed. “We never get a break, Mulder, never.”

As Mulder’s fingertips slid down the skort to Scully’s thighs, a thought occurred to him. A naughty thought. He kept his fingers on their current path until they reached her knee. At this point, they took a decidedly delicious detour toward the inside of her thigh, then slowly swept back up. Scully’s eyes grew wide. “Mulder, what do you think you’re doing?”

He smiled wistfully as he watched his hand’s path. “You may not get an eye-full of us making out, but I’d like an eye-full of you feeling good.”

“How good?”

“Really, REALLY good.” Oh, dear God. Mulder did like to watch. Even though he’d had Morris’ mirrors taken down from his ceiling, he still managed to get the two of them in front of something reflective now and then. He’d recently put a goose-necked shaving mirror in his shower, about the time his water fetish popped up. Actually, she got a jolt of excitement when she caught him watching the two of them together. She didn’t care as long as it was her he was watching and not those blasted videos. Scully made a mental note to check when they got back to see if he’d really given the last of them to Frohike.

A worried look crossed her face. “It’s broad daylight, Mulder. And, as you pointed out, there are cars on our front and back bumpers.” Scully glanced up ahead to see the lone driver in the small sedan in front of them, back turned to their vehicle. But the one behind them was another story. A mini van filled with your garden-variety middle class family: Dad in sunglasses in the driver seat, Mom looking at the map, kids in the middle and back seats. “Mulder, there are people behind us. They might be able to see in the car.”

“What makes you think I’ll be doing something that you won’t want someone to see?” he almost whispered as his fingers got dangerously close to the juncture of her legs. “Anyway, the headrests block the view.”

I’m going to either kill him or… or, what… oh, I don’t know or what, thought Scully, as her pulse quickened, her thinking got hazy, and she felt her upper body grow warmer in the already hot car. Sure enough, Mulder’s errant fingers invaded the skort’s left leg and began fiddling with the edge of her panties. He looked up and gazed into her eyes. “Are these the lemon-yellow ones you put on this morning? I like those. Very summery.”

Her voice was breathy. “Yeah. I almost wore red, white, and blue for the holiday. Mulder, you know I don’t like you starting what you can’t finish.” Maybe that would get his attention.

It did, all right. His stare intensified as his pupils dilated. “What makes you think I can’t finish?” Mulder’s middle and index fingers got past the elastic leg opening and found her already quite excited. “When did this happen, Miss Scully? Have you been thinking about me all the way here? Or is the thought of being frisky in a public place turning you on?” His smile was positively wicked.

Oh my, we are going to give that poor family more fireworks than they’re ready for, thought Scully as she felt her eyes slide shut and all the blood in her body rush toward her groin. She licked her lips and peaked out. Mulder was still staring at her with a peaceful, yet intense expression. If anyone could be peaceful and intense at the same time, it was Fox Mulder. So, why didn’t she stop him? Why, indeed. Maybe the seats really were high enough. She began to surrender to the delicious feel of his schooled touch, able to seduce her in even the most unlikely places. Time to ‘fess up, Dana, she thought to herself. You do think about getting jiggy in public places. It was one of her most guarded fantasies. OK, it was pretty mild in comparison to some she’d heard girlfriends talk about, but it was very arousing to her. Sometimes the mere thought of kissing Mulder in their office was enough to make her neck start to tingle. He’d pulled her into a darkened conference room when they were visiting the Cincinnati field office in May and tried to replay that amazing scene from “The English Patient,” with some degree of success. She shut her eyes and remembered how provocative and womanly she’d felt that night. Mulder may like watching and water, but she was just beginning to discover what she liked. And dangerous liaisons seemed to be near the top of the list. Maybe if she just leaned her head back against the window the people in the van would think she was resting…until she began to get that singularly, one-of-a-kind electrical pulse that signaled her climax was near. A thought jabbed into her murky consciousness, “Hello! When you arch up and your face goes all screwy, it’ll be pretty evident you’re not sleeping!” At that instant the horn of the white mini van behind them blasted them back to reality. Mulder’s hand tore away from Scully and she shot stick-straight up in the seat, banging her right knee on the dash in the process. Mulder looked ahead. The car that had been directly in front of them was now hundreds of feet away. The flatbed holding the house was nowhere to be seen. No telling how long they’d been just sitting there… doing… he put the car in gear and quickly sped up the road. Scully turned part-way around and glanced at the van behind them. There she saw an interesting sight. The wife was whacking the husband on the shoulder with the map. He had removed his sunglasses and was staring right at Scully with a gape-mouthed look of surprise. She snapped around in the seat. Please let these people be going anywhere but Antietam, she prayed as she closed her eyes and put her head down. Mulder patted her knee tenderly. “Don’t worry. I’ll make good on my promise later on,” he murmured.

Scully’s eyes flew open. “Make good! Mulder, I wasn’t worried about that… it was… we were… seen!” she hissed between her teeth.

Mulder put both hands on the steering wheel and shrugged as he glanced into the rearview mirror at the people behind them. “She’ll never believe him,” he pronounced, as he put on the blinker and exited for the campground.

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

1:00 pm, Setzer’s Family Campground, Sharpsburg, MD

The verdant playground-picnic area of the campground was festive, to say the least. The center area, looking much like the meadow it once was, had some children’s swing sets and monkey bars situated next to a small ball field. The trees ringing the meadow were dotted with small picnic areas filled with 4th of July celebrants, flags, charcoal grills, and squealing children. Mulder steeled his nerve. This was not what he had in mind for Independence Day. He usually celebrated with a live baseball game, and he’d been looking forward to sitting in the stands of Camden Yards with Scully, taking in the Orioles. It was easy to find Maggie Scully and her crew thanks to the large Navy flag hanging from a tree branch. Angela’s husband, Phillip, was Navy, too, so once again, Mulder would be the odd man out. Scully sat their picnic basket down on the table and hugged her mother. “Sorry we’re late, Mom. Who would ever think of moving a house on the 4th of July?”

Maggie smiled. “That’s OK. Angie and the kids just got here. Phil’s out at sea, so it’s especially good you and Fox came.” Just then strong arms wrapped around Scully’s waist and she was hoisted into the air. “Hi, Matey!” growled Charlie Scully into her ear as he plopped her onto the ground. Scully turned and grinned at her younger sibling. It was still strange to think of him as an adult, and such a big, muscular one at that. She reached up and kissed his cheek just as Mulder approached and addressed her younger brother. “So, I hear congratulations are in order?” he said as he glanced at the woman standing next to Charlie. The young man beamed. “I’d like you to meet Deborah Bench. Against her family’s better judgment she has decided to enlist as a Navy wife. This is my sister, Dana, and her partner, Fox Mulder. F.B.I. partner, that is,” he quickly added.

The small brunette blushed and elbowed Charlie as she extended her hand to Scully. “I’ve heard so much about you both, I feel like I know you already. Charlie talks his head off about how much he admires you and your work.”

“Oh, has he?” asked Scully archly, wondering exactly what “work” Charlie had been telling her about. As if he’d read her mind, he winked at his sister. “No details, Sis. I know it’s all hush- hush F.B.I. stuff.”

Mulder couldn’t keep silent any longer. “So, Bench, huh? Any relation to the famous Reds’ catcher?” Deborah smiled. “Afraid not. That’s the southern end of the family, my dad says. We’re from Oyster Bay, New York, on Long Island.”

A smile graced Scully’s face. “Well, you’re well acquainted with the sea, then,” she said. Charlie clasped his fiancée’s hand. “Yep, from a boat-building family, no less,” he said as he glanced over at the picnic table. A worried expression crossed his face. “Deb, you didn’t bring that dish thing Hank brought over last night, did you?”

“Charlie, it was so nice of Hank to make that German potato salad. It was his mom’s recipe and he knows I love it. He said it was a peace offering, after all,” she said, folding her arms over her chest.

“Well, it was just a little weird, him showing up at your door like that.” Charlie turned to his sister. “Old boyfriend. They work together in a water-testing lab near the base. Deb still wanted to be friends, especially since they have to work together, and it was hard at first, but he seems to be taking it better.” He winked. “I knew I’d win in the end.”

A snort laugh shot out of Scully. “Yes, a Scully man in uniform is sooooo hard to resist. So where’s this great food I’m hearing about? I’m starving!” she called over to her Mom.

Mulder whispered in her ear. “I gotta hit the little camper’s room, Scully. Grab some of that potato salad for me.” He turned and trudged off toward the low set of buildings at the edge of the meadow, feeling hot and sticky even in his light t-shirt and cargo shorts. It had to be at least 90 degrees in the shade, even hotter in the sun. As he passed the next picnic table he saw someone he vaguely recognized. A man in a wild, yellow Hawaiian print shirt with Ray Ban sunglasses on. Crap, it’s the guy from the white mini van on the highway, he thought as he lowered his head and walked a little faster. Scully would have kittens if she found out that family was so nearby. She was certain he’d seen her face. As he got closer to the bathrooms, another figure caught Mulder’s eye. With the long, heavy, dark coat and big Indiana Jones-style hat pulled low over their eyes, it was hard to tell if it was a man or woman. Mirrored glasses obscured the person’s eyes and the footwear consisted of heavy, black military-style boots. He or she must be roasting in that get-up, he thought. Mulder immediately ceased to be a somewhat carefree picnicker and shifted into a trained law enforcement officer. This person was very out of place in his surroundings and was not to be ignored. That coat could be concealing anything from one or a number of weapons to a bomb. There were hundreds of innocent people here that could be prey to a disturbed mind or even a terrorist. Keeping the suspect in his field of vision, Mulder veered into another picnic site and asked a woman if she could direct him to the Park Superintendent’s office. As he listened, he watched the figure go into the wooded area. What a time to be without his weapon, he thought, as he crept behind a tree, stealthily slipping up behind the trench- coated figure.

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

Scully glanced toward the park bathrooms. What in the world was taking Mulder so long? Her mother insisted on waiting lunch for him and Angie’s kids were getting grumpy. They’d been playing Mouse Trap for a while and the current winner was not being very gracious. “You cheater!” shouted the smallest girl. “You went an extra space!” “Did not!” retorted the tallest boy, gloating over his triumph. “You’re too big a baby to play this game!”

Maggie Scully shook her head. “Now that sounds like another family I know.”

“Still sounds like us,” laughed Charlie. He put his hands on his hips and cocked his eyebrow. “Stop talking bad about my partner! I like him!” he squealed in a girlie voice. The youngest Scully then shifted to a “Hans and Franz” muscle stance. “He’s a menace to society! And a Yankee’s fan!” he growled.

“Charles Scully, stop that!” Maggie scolded. “Being a so-called adult doesn’t give you the right to make fun of your brother. Even if the portrayal IS accurate.” At that, all three Scullys started laughing. When their mirth began to subside, Scully glanced at her watch. “Mom, let’s go ahead and eat. I have no idea what’s keeping Mulder.”

“Maybe a Martian family showed up to celebrate our nation’s birthday and Mulder’s showing them how to light M80’s,” said Charlie has he loaded a hamburger bun with meat and tomato. He looked up into Scully’s stern stare and shrugged. “Sorry, Sis. I’m the youngest. I have to ride the fence to be safe.”

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

Stop growling, Mulder thought to his stomach. That guy might hear you. Even though he’s followed his suspect farther back into the woods, he could still smell the charcoal grills and visions of hot dogs and steaks assaulted his senses. He was sure the suspect was male now, approximately five feet, nine inches tall, weight undetermined due to the size of the coat. His main concern was how he would take him if he was indeed armed and began firing on the picnickers. Suddenly, the figure turned right and began circling back toward the picnic sites. Mulder’s pulse quickened as he called on all his profiling expertise to outsmart this killer, suicide bomber… whatever he was.

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

“Mom Scully, you’ve outdone yourself,” said Angie as she dished out cold baked beans for herself and her kids. “I used to sneak down to the fridge and eat the leftovers when Dana brought food from home back to our apartment. Deb, is that the German potato salad you brought?” Charlie’s fiancée nodded.

Scully gingerly placed lettuce on her Boca burger, glad Mulder wasn’t there to make fun of her vegetarian picnic lunch. “I don’t think I’ve ever had German potato salad. What’s in it?”

Charlie huffed, “Potatoes, Dana, potatoes.” This drew a smack from his fiancée.

“Vinegar and bacon instead of mustard,” Deb said. “And you serve it hot, not cold.”

Bacon, thought Scully. Well, I’ll put some on my plate, but I made myself a vow to be meatless all summer. Mulder will eat it. He takes everything off my plate anyway. And where was he? She was actually getting worried.

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

The suspect was moving a little slower now. Mulder was glad because it gave him more time to observe his behavior. He was obviously nervous, glancing around furtively and spooked by every sound. That was good. He’d be easier to overpower if he was frightened. A stealthy, self-assured person lurking in the woods would have been more of a challenge. The sounds of celebrating voices were getting louder as they came closer to the picnic areas. To his right, Mulder caught a glimpse of a bright yellow Hawiian shirt through the trees. The guy from the mini van, he thought. Christ, we’re almost to… our picnic site!

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

“You two stop bickering now! If you can’t play that game nicely, I’ll take it away,” Angie huffed to her kids. “Maggie, I have no idea how you held on to your sanity all those years with four children and your husband gone for months at a time. I’m about ready to ask Phil to retire early.”

Maggie Scully smiled as she wiped ketchup from the corner of her mouth. “Oh, it’s not so bad, Angie. I think you’re doing a beautiful job. Just be warned the bickering doesn’t stop when they turn twenty-one.” She turned to her daughter. “What’s happened to Fox, honey? I know he wasn’t crazy about coming today, but…”

“No, Mom, that’s not it. Maybe he noticed something wrong with the car when he went by. I am getting a little worried, though.”

“Ugh, that stuff is horrible!” Charlie made a face and spit pieces of potato on his napkin. “Give me good old American potato salad any day!”

Deb took a tiny first bite and frowned. “It sure doesn’t taste like Mrs. Dekin’s recipe. I wonder if Hank changed it some way.”

“Mommy! My tummy hurts!” wailed Angie’s middle son, who had been eating non-stop since they sat down. “I think I need to throw…”

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

The dark-clad figure began walking directly toward the Scully family picnic area now. Mulder knew he’d have to do something soon as he watched the suspect’s hands for a sign he was going for a weapon. I have to take a chance and get closer, he thought as he picked up the pace, trying not to be heard or noticed. Suddenly, the suspect stopped dead and began to slowly turn around. Shit, he heard me, thought Mulder as he ducked behind a tree. His shoulder hit a branch and the loud snap echoed through the trees. He was found out. The suspect lurched into the picnic clearing and Mulder shouted, “Stop! Federal Officer!” as he gave chase.

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

“Eddie, run to the trashcan!” shouted Angie to her son as he covered his mouth with his hands. Scully thought she heard another shout at the same time, but it was the next picnic site over and drowned out by her friend’s voice. Little Eddie jumped up from his seat and ran toward the trashcan but didn’t quite make it. He did, however, make it as far as Scully and her mother.

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

The suspect crashed through the mini van family’s picnic site, knocking over a woman carrying a large platter of fried chicken. Mulder looked ahead and saw the yellow Hawiian shirt of the mini van man up ahead. The man’s eyes widened as he watched the dark, running figure race past. Then he caught sight of Mulder and shouted, “It’s the man from the car on the road, Jeannie! See, I’m telling the truth!”

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

Scully had just realized what had happened to her when she heard Mulder’s voice shouting, “Hey, you! Stop!” and saw someone in a black trench coat running toward their picnic table. She stood up on the bench, jumped over the tabletop and ran toward the figure.

“You cheater! I hate you! I hate you!” screamed Angie’s tiny daughter as she picked up the Mouse Trap game board and aimed to bring it down on her oldest brother’s head. Pieces went flying everywhere, Maggie Scully and Angie were screaming, Charlie was about to vomit himself, and Deb was still wondering what was up with the potato salad. The Mouse Trap board managed to connect with the suspect’s face just as he ran past the game players and the blow sent him crashing into the Weber grill. Scully tried to pull up but tripped and came down on top of him. Seconds later, Mulder arrived just in time to see Scully trying to help the suspect up.

“Stop, Scully! I’ve been tailing that guy for fifteen minutes!” he shouted as he ran to grab the trench-coated man, who now had his glasses and hat knocked off. Deb squealed and clamped her hands on her mouth. “Hank! What are you doing here?” “What the…” stammered Charlie, finally shaking off the nausea. Scully had the man against the picnic shelter spread-eagled while Mulder searched him and removed his coat. “You know this guy?” he said incredulously as he patted down his legs.

“That’s Hank Dekin, Deb’s ex-boyfriend,’ seethed Charlie as he balled up his fists and started toward the frightened suspect. “Why, I oughta…”

“Charlie, stop! I can’t take another of these fights! Hank, what in the world are you doing here?” Deb wailed, covering her eyes and beginning to sob.

“I just had to see you two… for myself! I had to see you suffer! To make up for all the pain you caused me!” Hank Dekin shouted. Then he smiled. “I guess I’m just too early. It’ll happen soon, and I’ll be vindicated!”

“He’s clean, Scully,” Mulder pronounced, as his partner still held the man’s arms behind him. “What the hell are you talking about, Dekin? What pain are you going to cause them? Charlie’s sister and I are F.B.I. agents. The sooner you tell, the better it’ll be for you.”

“See, Deb, I told you you were getting mixed up with a dangerous family!” Dekin said just as Scully tightened her grip on his wrists. “Yes, as a matter of fact, we’re all VERY dangerous, “she stage whispered. “Spill it now! How were you going to make them suffer?”

“The potato salad. I left it out for a day, put some stuff from the water treatment lab in it. That way you’d be in pain!” he seethed, grinning maniacally at the shocked Charlie and Deb.

“Or DEAD!” shouted Scully. “Do you have any idea what you put in there? Microbes? Bacteria?” She turned to her partner. “Mulder, he could have put E-coli in there! Anyone who ate that potato salad could get deathly ill – and it can kill children!” Then she thought of Angie’s son, Eddie. “Oh my God! Eddie! He just vomited! Angie, did Eddie eat any of the potato salad?”

Her friend was white as a sheet but managed to stammer, “Ah, I don’t think so. He hates potato salad.” She remembered now why she usually called Maggie to chat instead of Dana. Life was just a little too exciting with her old roommate around.

Maggie Scully was already on the case, peering into the tainted salad. “It looks like there’s just a little missing from the dish,” she surmised. “I didn’t eat any. Did anyone else?”

A quick poll of the party showed that only Charlie, Deb, and Scully had taken any of the German potato salad. Scully hadn’t touched hers, and Deb and Charlie had been taken aback by the odd flavor after just a taste and spit theirs out. Mulder called 911 and U.S. Park Service rangers arrived to take over the situation. The scene was a strange one indeed: food and smoking charcoal everywhere, accompanied by crying children, exhausted mothers, an angry boyfriend, and two bedraggled F.B.I. agents, wondering where their simple holiday had gone.

As the park rangers drove off with their prisoner in hand, Scully sat down on the picnic table bench, put her arm around Mulder’s waist, and sighed heavily. “Not much food left, G-Man. Are you still hungry?”

He winced and placed his arm around her shoulders. “I must admit I’ve lost my appetite, Scully.” He reached over into the ice chest and brought out a Samuel Adams beer. “But I think I need a cold one.”

“Count me in, Mulder,” Charlie said, as he brought out a church key-style bottle opener and shuffled toward the picnic table.

“Make that three,” sighed Maggie Scully, who sat down heavily on Mulder’s other side. Charlie started opening the bottles.

Mulder took a long draught of the chilly brew, put his free arm around Maggie and embraced the two women. “Got my two best girls and a Sam Adams. What more could a red-blooded American boy need on the 4th of July?”

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

Setzer’s Family Campground, later that evening

Scully stepped out on the porch of the small cabin. Thanks to a brief late afternoon cloudburst, the night was much cooler than the day and stars were blazing in the clear sky. Behind her Maggie and Deb were sleeping, exhausted from the freakish day. The rangers had needed everyone to answer some questions about Hank’s nefarious activities, and that had taken the rest of the afternoon. Thankfully, it turned out Eddie had just eaten a little too fast after an hour on the swing set and had not been affected by the tainted potato salad. Everyone was bone tired and Maggie graciously invited Mulder and Scully to stay with them for the night in the campground cabins. They were able to wash their clothes, covered with dirt, vomit, and food, at the campground laundry. Scully chuckled. Good thing she and her mom were still about the same size. Charlie and Mulder… that was another story. Same height, very different width. Mulder’s slender waist and legs were fairly swimming in Charlie’s muscle- man clothing. His waist and legs, she thought… oh, Dana, another night with the girls… great.

As she stepped off the porch and walked toward the darkened pool area, Scully heard splashing. Had someone fallen in the pool? She hurried over to investigate. Stepping through the gate, she saw numerous half-full beer bottles on a nearby table. A lone figure was swimming laps as steam rose from the heated pool into the chilling air. She came nearer the water’s edge. “Mulder, is that you?” she questioned squinting in the near-darkness, the pool illuminated only by a few lights below the water’s surface.

He stopped a few feet away from her. “Nobody here but us little campers,” he said as he changed course and began to glide toward her. “Charlie and I came down here for a while to work out the stress. And we swam, too,” he grinned, nodding toward the litter of beer bottles.

Scully folded her arms over chest. “Mulder, you know better than to swim alone while you’re drinking. It’s dangerous no matter how good a swimmer you are.” Her mouth was being sensible Dr. Scully, but her mind was beginning to think the water looked very inviting.

“We didn’t finish even one beer, Scully, just had a tasting party. Charlie had a whole bunch of different microbrews from around Norfolk and we were just toasting American ingenuity.” He paused and looked up at his partner with a small smile. “I really like him, Scully. And he said he thinks I’m good for you, believe it or not. He told me you always seem happy when he sees us together, and he knows our work is challenging and exciting for you. He asked if there was any chance we were more than work partners.”

“What did you tell him?” Scully fairly stammered, crouching down so she could see Mulder’s wet, smiling face closely. She vaguely heard some light rustling on the concrete behind her.

“I said we were talking, trying to decide some things about us. He understands about fraternization, being in the military, so I think he caught my drift. And he said he’d keep it quiet.” Mulder glanced over Scully’s shoulder and nodded toward the beer bottles. “Looks like everyone’s in a patriotic mood.”

Scully turned to see a fat, furry raccoon pick up a beer bottle and tip it toward its mouth. After a few drops spilled, the nocturnal thief got the hang of it and gulped down the rest of the beer.

She chuckled at the comical sight. “These park raccoons are so bold,” she murmured as she turned back to Mulder. “So, what are we trying to decide?”

“I’m trying to decide if I want to pull you in the water right now or wait for you to take off your mom’s nightgown.” He wagged his eyebrows at her and then quieted. “I’m sorry, Scully. That was a serious inquiry, wasn’t it?” He moved to the edge in front of her and reached up, placed his warm hands on her chilled feet. “I’ve already decided, Scully. That no matter if our lives are filled with mutants, aliens and stalking ex-boyfriends for the next hundred years, I want to spend it all with you.” He placed his hands on the edge of the pool and pushed himself up out of the water as Scully bent down for a tender kiss.

“I want to be with you, too, Mulder. And that includes right now.” She rocked back on her heels and began to remove the peach gown. “This is Mom’s favorite summer sleepshirt. After all that happened today, I’d hate to ruin it.” Mulder’s eyes widened as he saw Scully stand and toss the gown onto a nearby chair, her slender body marked by the wavy, moving shadows from the pool lights. She chuckled. “I haven’t skinny dipped since high school.”

“It’s not skinny dipping yet,” Mulder said, as he reached below the water’s surface and yanked off his shorts, unceremoniously plopping them out on the concrete. His partner peeled off her panties, placing them with the shirt. “Scully, we don’t have the snorkel,” he murmured and eyed her hungrily as she sat down on the edge, slipping into the water almost silently.

Just then they heard the pops and bangs of the campground’s 4th of July fireworks display. Scully slid into Mulder’s arms and brought her left leg up around his hips as they looked up into the sky. Red, silver, and blue bursts of color filled their field of vision and the sounds of people shouting, “Oooh, ahhh!” were heard faintly in the distance. Mulder began to move through the water slowly, running his hands down Scully’s slippery back as sides and he went. One water-related fantasy checked off the list, he thought as he began to kiss a path from her ear to shoulder.

Scully moaned. “Mmmm, that feels good. I hate to interrupt, but what was the verdict on poor Hank and his potato salad?” Scully was able to feel Mulder growing hard against her belly. I am so glad this is a heated pool, she thought.

“Well, the rangers and local police were a little mystified about the whole affair, so to speak,” Mulder mumbled as he focused his attention on her collar bone. “Seems no one has tried to poison someone using picnic food around here before, so there are no applicable laws on the books. It was a little implausible to hold him for ‘assault with deadly German potato salad,’ especially since there was no lab analysis on the bacterial contents, so we settled on resisting arrest by a Federal Officer until they can get a D.A. and judge in on Monday.” At the other end of the pool, the raccoon had polished off his third beer and was beginning a fourth.

Mulder had floated them to the shallow end of the pool and was leaning against the edge, Scully’s legs locked around him. “This is turning out to be a pretty good day, eh G-Woman?” he smiled to her as she moved lightly against him. “We finally got our break.”

Scully rested her forehead against Mulder’s and looked deeply into his wide, hazel eyes as her hands caressed his neck. “And now I’m ready for my fireworks” she whispered.

“God bless the U.S.A.,” Mulder said has he captured her mouth in his for a long-awaited kiss. Time to finish what he started.

★ ★ ☆ ★ ★

A tired man in a rumpled yellow Hawaiian shirt strolled slowly back to the family camping cabin from the fireworks display. His idea for a happy, fun-filled family picnic and camping trip was shattered. First there was that house moving bit on the road to Antietam. Why wasn’t that on the TripTic? Then that, that, COUPLE in the car in front of them. He’d tried not to watch, but… good grief! And Jeannie didn’t believe him, just accused him of having a dirty mind.

Then just as he was about to enjoy his lunch, here came the crazy man in the black coat and the man from the car screaming at him, knocking Jeannie and their lovely fried chicken over. The police came, there was a lot more screaming, and somehow some little plastic mice had gotten in their cooler. Then, there she was, the redheaded woman from the car… an F.B.I. agent! It was like some sort of TV show! He knew better than tell Jeannie that was the, uh, orgasmic looking woman from the car, but then she caught him looking at the red-head, his mouth gaping open, and it was all over. Nothing but some cold baked beans and a pat on the back from the nice motherly lady with the puke all over her.

As he reached the cabin the man smelled something. He looked at the bottom of his shoe. There weren’t supposed to be any dogs around here. A sound drew his attention to the white mini van parked proudly next to their cabin. A raccoon, acting very strangely, was rolling all over the top of it, and seemed to be stopping ever few seconds to pee. Did he just think pee? He stepped closer. Yep, that’s what it was. Raccoon pee was running all over his brand new Grand Caravan. He sniffed the air. The raccoon pee smelled amazingly like beer.

He thought of shooing the fat animal away, but its behavior made him think better of it. Suddenly, he heard the faint sounds of a man and a woman, sort of an “oooh…. ahhhh… ohhhh… ahhhh.” He looked up in the sky, expecting to see more fireworks. But they’d been over for a good 10 minutes. Maybe it was…he shook his head and hurried to the cabin to take a shower. His wife was right. He did have a dirty mind.

END

★ ☆ ★

For the challenge the following elements had to appear: a fireworks display, a mishap at a family picnic, Mulder and Scully skinny dipping, an intimate moment while stuck in road construction, someone wearing heavy winter clothing in 90 degree + weather, a board game gone bad, and a drunken raccoon. The moderator of the MSRPS said she once saw a drunken raccoon, hence the reference. I was once stuck in road construction with my husband while a house was moved across a highway (on the way to a Barenaked Ladies concert), but did not engage in the aforementioned activities. We kissed a lot, though.

My apologies to generals McClellan (Union) and Lee (Confederate), who led their respective armies at the actual Battle of Antietam (September 17, 1862). I couldn’t think of another name. My husband wanted to call it “Hot Sex in the Pool.” This was my first foray into anything even resembling, uh, non-PG territory and only my second posted fic. Be kind, I’m a pretty conservative person. You can find out about this lovely national park at www.nps.gov/anti/.

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